Chapter 2: Memory Loss

Trying to socialise with many people at once was harder than I remembered it being. Everyone was clamouring to get your attention, demanding some sort of response, wanting to know your opinion. Trying to socialise with many people at once was harder than I remembered it being. Everyone was clamouring to get your attention, demanding some sort of response, wanting to know your opinion. There was no escape. And of course, it was made even harder by having your very own personal social buddy right inside your head. Yeah, social buddy. Can you detect the sarcasm?

I’m touched you think of me that way. ‘Social buddy’. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

‘Shut up. I’m trying to concentrate on being a normal person who doesn’t have voices in his head.’

Well, that’s a bit hard, seeing as you don’t control when I decide to speak to you.

‘Well, it would be nice if you decided to shut the hell up and allow me to be normal! Can’t you see how everyone else seems suspicious of me already? Especially that Chloe or whatever her name is.’

Chloe? The butch chick?

‘Butch chick? Where did that come from?’

Have you even looked at her? You can see she works out. Look at those arms!

‘…Right. You're way off target. She has a build like Maria's. She's not butch. You seriously need your eyes checked.’

I think you mean you need your eyes checked. I don't have my own set of eyes, see.

Why do I even bother with the voices in my head? I’m not crazy or anything, but I’m seriously close to cracking…my mask is beginning to slip, I think. Normally the people I meet have no clue. Oh, sure, they might think I’m a bit slow, maybe a tad weird, but not crazy. But of course, I usually try to be alone as much as I can. Not like I can do that now.

I came to Camp Woodlands for some answers, and I end up committing to some tenth year celebration camp. But I have no choice if I want to get answers. And maybe, finally, hopefully…the voices might go away. But will I crack before then?

I tap my fingers on the dining table, looking through the large double doors that lead out into the campgrounds. The dining room was largely deserted, except for a few groups sitting haphazardly throughout the room, and of course, my own ‘group’ if you can call them that. Dylan and the Chloe were sitting opposite, with Maria sitting to the right. It was odd to think that once they were my friends. Well, former friends now, I guess. Not that I can remember anything of them.

We had all signed up for this ‘celebration’ camp, straight after it was formally announced by the head camp manager. Well, I think it was the head camp manager. Who knows who he really is? We had sorted out our camp gear (Maria tried bribing every girl in sight for more clothes) and were assigned our dorms. It was weird, you would think that, like every other camp grounds in history, we would be split up into male and female dorms, but that wasn’t the case here. All four of us were (unsurprisingly) assigned to the same dorm room. Taking a brief look around at the other dorm allocations, I saw that we weren’t the only ones with such an arrangement. In fact, it was like we were being separated into groups of four for a reason. Even for something as meagre as sleeping arrangements.

It was then that we decided to hang out in the dining room, after, of course, Maria’s mandatory clean up (unanimously decided by the group-the stink had become unbearable by then).

“That shower felt so good!” Maria exclaimed, looking around dreamily.

“Good for you,” Chloe responded dejectedly. She was obviously still fuming from having to lend Maria some clean clothes.

Maria suddenly looked back at Chloe. “Can I borrow your make up kit?”

Chloe fixed her with a glare and said nothing. Maria pouted and folded her arms. Meanwhile, Dylan was oblivious as he typed away at his laptop.

I kept tapping my fingers. I noticed that each of the others would occasionally glance my way, as if expecting some sort of communication. Was I meant to be their de facto leader, then? Was that how I acted, ten years ago? My memories of how I was like before attending Camp Woodlands ten years ago were very hazy, but I suppose I was more social, more outgoing.

But you grew up to be the brooding ant-social young man that you are. How unfortunate for you. Dashing heroics and selfless sacrifices are out of the question, I suppose.

‘Ten years of dealing with you does that to a person.’

Having a normal life was also out of the question. Perhaps the others were mystified by how I seemed so different from how they knew me. The only way to fix that was to, well…talk I guess.

“Found anything more, Dylan?” I asked. Everyone turned to look at me.

“Nothing much,” Dylan replied, staring at me briefly before looking at his laptop again. It seemed that was the cue for everyone to start asking me questions again.

“Are you completely sure you don’t remember anything?” Chloe asked. Not that thread of questioning again.

“No, not a thing. I don’t even remember having you as friends.” That was harsh, yes, but what else could I say? It was the truth, after all.

“…I don’t believe you,” Maria said quietly. I looked at her; she seemed to avoid my stare. What was up with her? Out of all of them, it was her I was most worried about…she may have seemed like an airhead the first time you meet her, but she was constantly watching people and her surroundings. I couldn’t slip, especially not around her.

“I’m not going to explain how I don’t know…I just don’t. I’m not hiding anything; I’m just as clueless as you all are.”

Sure you are, Forrest. Sure you are. Have you forgotten about what I know? Did you really think you were absolutely clueless?

‘Do you actually know something? I never would have thought.’

Don’t get all sarcastic on me, Forrest. Of course I know more than you. Everyone knows more than you. And you know what? It’s going to be a long, long time before I tell you exactly what I know.

‘Why you sneaky—‘

What are you going to do me, Forrest? Ha, beat yourself up to get to me? Fool.

“Are you going to keep glaring at Mary or are you actually going to say something?” Chloe snapped, interrupting my internal battle. I glared at her.

“Is it any of your business who I glare at?” I said. Was it that obvious? Did I slip up again?

“I don’t like people who glare for no reason. Especially at defenceless young women,” Chloe countered. Her hands were curled up into fists. Was she actually spoiling for a fight? Or was this something she was passionate about? An indication of something that happened in her past?

“What are you implying, Chloe? I wasn't going to hit Maria or anything.” In fact, I wasn't even aware I was glaring at her...this was bad...

“You can never be sure about that,” Chloe said softly. “People do things without meaning to.”

“Speaking from personal experience, then?” I asked. I held her stare, until she had to look away.

“That's...none of your business,” she said.

Nice. You got her on the defensive. Not bad for a social recluse like you.

‘It was to deflect some attention away from me. Stop being so distracting!’

“You're a lot different now, Chloe,” Maria commented. “I mean, ten years ago, you were just like me. You would have practically given me your clothes if I asked for some. Now, though...”

“We've all changed. Some more than others,” Dylan said, looking up from his laptop to stare at each of us in turn. His gaze lingered on me. “Take Forrest, for example. We are in agreement that he never had purple eyes ten years ago, right?”

“And I think he's lying about not remembering what happened,” Chloe said angrily, glaring at me. This was getting ridiculous...

“Just shut it, Chloe,” I shot back.

“Chloe, don't push him...he might have amnesia, as I keep saying...” Dylan said.

Chloe pounded her fists on the table. “I don't care about that!” I could feel the burning intensity of her stare. She was turning out to be more aggressive than I initially thought. “I think he's hiding something. He was the one who alerted everyone else ten years ago. He was the one most in contact with the head camp manager. He might remember something that might help us understand what the hell happened ten years ago! Why are you keeping it from us?”

Looks like someone's not happy. I wonder how desperate she is for answers. Any more desperate than the rest of you?

“I’m just as clueless!” I exclaimed. “I don't know any of that! How do you think I feel not knowing any of what happened? That’s why I came to this damn camp. To get answers!” Chloe and I were both on our feet, our chairs having been kicked back in haste.

“Stop being such an ass! How could you forget what happened? Are you mentally retarded?”

“How about you find your own answers, you stupid bitch!”

There was a silence. “Nobody calls me a bitch,” Chloe said softly, slowly walking around the table, “and gets away with it.” I stood impassively as she walked closer. Though she only came up to my shoulder, she was quite a force. She leant in close, whispering: “How about you try calling me that again…and see what happens?” She wanted a fight, did she? In my peripheral vision I could see we had quite the audience. Dylan and Maria were standing up, both unsure of what to do should we come to blows.

We were only a hair’s length apart. “You want to punch me, don’t you…” I said. Chloe had a cruel smile on her face.

“You bet I do,” she said, “but you’re not worth the effort.” She turned around and started walking slowly away. Maria and Dylan gave visible sighs of relief.

That was when Chloe turned around and sent her fist flying. She was surprised when she met my upturned hand.

“Nice try, but I’m not that weak,” I said, smirking at her apparent confusion. I let go of her hand and started walking away. “You’re lucky I don’t approve of violence against women.”

“Don’t you dare walk away from me, you sneaky bastard! I know you’re hiding something!”

I shook my head and kept walking, through the dining room doors and out to the courtyard. I didn’t want to deal with her hysteria anymore. Why was she convinced I was lying? I had no memories of back then. Or did she suspect something about my voices…

Suspect little ol’ me, huh?

‘You stay quiet; I was enjoying the silence of my head.’

Like I keep saying, you have no control over me. When I stay silent, it’s because I want to be silent, not to give you a break or anything. Got that?

‘Yeah, sure, like I believe that.’

I was surprised Chloe didn’t go after you, really. She should have beaten you to a pulp.

‘You have that little faith in my fighting abilities?’

I think she definitely held back. Perhaps she didn’t want an audience for whatever she wanted to do to you. Or maybe it was some old semblance of former friendship that held her back. Who knows?

‘Whatever, I don’t really care at the moment.’

I sat down on one of the benches littered around the courtyard. This was absolutely useless. Why did I even bother coming back to Camp Woodlands? I didn’t come to get harassed by former friends.

I sat there for awhile, listening to the hum of camp activities. Young adults like us were moving about the camp site, most of them in their own groups of four. I had some quiet time to myself, at least until Maria showed up. She came in quietly, having spotted me quite quickly from the entrance of the dining room. I hadn’t walked far.

“…Chloe’s not very happy at you at the moment.” She wasn’t looking at me directly. Why was she afraid to make eye contact with me?

“What an understatement. But it’s not like I can do anything about it. She just needs to get it into her thick head that I can’t remember anything that happened ten years ago.”

“So that is really true then?” She sat down on the other side of the bench.

“Yes, obviously. I wouldn’t have fought with Chloe otherwise. Why, did you think I was just putting on a show?” Surely, she wasn’t that suspicious…

“Well…I think you are hiding something.”

“Are you on Chloe’s side or what?”

“I’m not going to punch you out, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just wondering…so that means you don’t remember anything from the previous Camp Woodlands?”

“Nothing, yeah.”

“So, you don’t remember anything about…me, then?”

She was making me feel guilty. “…No, sorry, Maria.”

She was twiddling her thumbs, looking down at her knees. “It’s just…well it’s stupid, really, but…when I was coming to Camp Woodlands, I was looking forward to hanging out with you again. With Dylan and Chloe as well, of course, but…mainly you. But, if you remember nothing of me, I must be like a…total stranger to you, or something like that.”

“Maria…”

“No, sorry, I’m wasting your time, aren’t I? You probably want some time alone after arguing with Chloe like that. I’ll just…go now.”

“No, Maria, wait…” But she was gone, walking back to our dormitories.

Well, you messed that up.

‘…I don’t know what to do. I can’t really do much, seeing as I don’t have any memories of any of them or what happened.’

This memory loss of yours has inconvenienced you a lot, hasn’t it?

‘You could say that.’

But I knew that my memory loss was somehow related to this whole mess of a camp. I kept wondering, what could be so horrific or supernatural that it would make me forget everything? Was I more involved than the others? Why did it affect me more? These were questions I had to find answers to, and quick, I don’t know how the others would react if they found out that I was weirder than they imagined…

I guess I would have to wait until the meeting, then. Even if that meant I would have to deal with everyone else again. But if it meant finding out something about what happened ten years ago, it was worth doing a thousand times over. I just hope I can survive that long.